Day 8

Hello void.

Scale: 149.4 lbs. I'm right, the cravings are the worst between 7 and 10pm. Yesterday I was good up until I saw a huge pumpkin full of candy...i had to lick the inside of the reese's.

Surprisingly, it tasted the same. I had a sip of Starr's Arizona Iced Tea the other day and it tasted WAY different, way more tangy. But the reese's and the gum tasted the same....so.....I ono.

Its funny how we crave all the bad stuff, but I think there's a justification for that: for years I've been stuffing my stomach with "bad" fuel. So as they're emptying out of my body, my body is craving more because that's what it's used to using as fuel. The problem with this is that "bad" fuel also help me put on 20 lbs....of fat. And that bad fuel fat is now being burned AS energy. So I feel crappy.

But I read this thing on the website (freedomyou.com) and it said the worse it is, the better the outcome. That alone saved me from not eating yesterday. Ohhhh my gosh. And I'd be kind of disappointed if I stopped now and pigged out (instead of continuing the raw food diet).

Plus: if I don't try, I'll never ever find out if I can succeed in this business. It's day 8. I've lost 11 pounds. Yeah, I feel crappy, but I can't wait for how happy I'm going to be when the photographer's see me and snap those photos. If it doesn't work out (with the industry), then it doesn't work out. But at least I tried. And I believe it will work out...

Update 7:16pm: Yep. Cravings are bad. This just proves how awful I've been eating for the past couple of months. JEEZE. I could never allow myself to quit but temptation is trying to close in. I. WIll. Succeed.